queer

Tomorrow, our beloved website AfterEllen.com , is, for all intents and purposes, ceasing its operations.

The site that we have come to think of as an essential part of our lives, the site that has celebrated our community, served as our voice and champion in the media, provided us with a space to exchange ideas and learn about our culture and make friends. The site that was more than just a webpage, but a cultural statement, an affirmation of the validity of our stories, our desires, our needs. The site that was a place where queer women got together and supported one another.

That space, that very important space, is being effectively shut down by straight men. Bury your gays much?

So, let’s learn a bit more about the straight guy who manages AfterEllen and claims the reason for firing its editor-in-chief, Trish Bendix (and then punishing her for speaking out by refusing her severance. If he were a woman, I guess we’d be calling him a bitch, right?) was strictly a financial one , shall we?

According to his Linkedin profile and company website, Emrah Kovacoqlu is the founder, president and CEO of Total Beauty Media, a “new media beauty company” whose mission is to “inspire all women to live a beautiful life.” What the company does is build websites to provide women with fashion, beauty and “wellness” information (men have learned by now that they have a better chance at selling women crap they don’t need if they claim it’s not just to make them more attractive to men but because it’s better for their own “well being.”) The company says it reaches all kinds of women because “all women want to look and feel beautiful.”

And so, according to Kovacoglu, who is also the general manager of “TotallyHer Media” (I’m sure the irony is not lost on you) and obviously thinks of himself as the man who has finally figured out what women want, lesbians (a strange variety of “woman” he probably had never encountered before and who, as it turns out, might want different things!) are not a big enough draw for advertisers (I could take it as a compliment and deduce that they think our community is just far too smart to buy into their stupid marketing strategies, which try to tell women they’re not good enough/pretty enough/hygienic enough/smooth enough and so they have to buy their products. But the truth is, they are probably just too lazy to try to come up with a new strategy that doesn’t have to do with telling women that if they bought their product they’d be more appealing to men).

But there is more to this than just the bottom line. This is what happens when men run women’s spaces, and when straight men run queer women’s spaces.

When men are exclusively running “women’s health” panels and committees is how abortion and birth control are still a contentious issue rather than a fundamental right a woman has to her own body.

When male executives control almost all the top positions in the media, film and television industry, is how year after year, women are relegated to the roles of “girlfriend” (usually sexually objectified) or “mom” (usually culturally invisible), whose identities are defined strictly by their relation to the men in their lives.

When men make up 80% of our legislature is how we still have to fight (unsuccessfully, for the most part) to pass common sense legislation to combat domestic violence and end the gender pay gap.

Women’s spaces, lives and bodies have been ruled by men for far too long. And who is the most threatening woman? The one who doesn’t need men to validate her existence at all. The one who is not interested in men or needs them. The one who will not buy a product because it will help her get noticed by them, the one who will not dumb herself down so that they like her, the one who will not shut up about them killing her surrogates on television.

So I say, let’s make our own spaces. Let’s eliminate the male managers and the ignorant advertisers, and let’s do it by and for ourselves. To the fabulous women of AfterEllen.com , the women we have come to love as some of the most wonderful voices of our community, I call upon you to start a new website, subscription based. And to the audiences out there, the queer women who have loved AfterEllen for years, you who have decried that #LGBTfansdeservebetter , I call upon you to support one another and our community and BUY a subscription.. Make this into a statement so big that we prove to all of them out there who we are, what we want and what we are capable of.

Listen to our queer sister Jill Soloway and let’s Topple the fucking patriarchy!

afterellentopple

Due to unexpected circumstances, we could not tape our special Post Emmys Vlog this year. So this is Liron, writing down our Emmy thoughts on behalf of both of us. There was much that made us happy (I think you can guess at least a couple of those moments!), and a few things we could have done without. So, without further ado, let’s start talking Emmys!

HAPPY:

The absolute highlight of the evening, for many of us, I’m sure, was the long-overdue win (yes, I know it’s only been a couple of years, but if you have seen her in action, you know I’m right) of the incomparable, the revelatory, Tatiana Maslany for best actress in a drama series for the multiple characters she fabulously plays on “Orphan Black.” I think we had all been so frustrated with the industry largely ignoring her that none of us truly expected it to happen. And it seemed like Tatiana was the one who expected it the least! (bringing her phone onstage, so she could read the few notes she had probably typed up in the car, on her way to the ceremony.) Well deserved, and probably the most exciting award of the night.
Almost just as exciting, and my favorite speech of the night, for sure, was Sarah Paulson‘s win for best actress in a limited series for her outstanding portrayal of Marcia Clark in “American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson,” or as Mimi thinks it should have been called, “In Defense of Marcia Clark.” Paulson not only won “best date” of the night by bringing the actual Marcia Clark along with her, but she also used her stage (literally) to apologize to Clark on behalf of… well, the whole country, really, for the abominable way in which she was treated while prosecuting the case. Ending with “Holland Taylor, I love you” was just the cherry on top. (And following Holland Taylor on Twitter during the Emmys was no less exciting. They win favorite couple on the planet for me at this very moment).
There aren’t too many women directors out there, and the Best Director categories are not usually overflowing with female nominees. Which is why it was extra fantastic when two women picked up the award for Best Director in the drama and limited series categories. Jill Soloway, who has created the gem that is “Transparent” (Which is coming back this Friday!) gave a fabulous speech and ended it with a call to “Topple the patriarchy!” and director Susanne Bier picked up the only award for the excellent miniseries “The Night Manager,” which otherwise couldn’t compete with the favorite (and equally excellent) O.J. drama.
Speaking of O.J., we were pleased to see Sterling K. Brown and Courtney B. Vance win for their excellent portrayals of Chris Darden and Johnnie Cochran respectively.
Jeffrey Tambor won again for his beautifully layered performance of Maura in “Transparent” and made me cheer when he shushed the orchestra (in Hebrew, no less!) so he could plead with Hollywood to tell more trans stories and to cast trans actors to play them.
We were saddened his wonderful costar Judith Light did not win best supporting actress in a comedy for her role as Shelly, but if she had to lose to someone, then how fabulous that it was Kate McKinnon, who is the best thing on SNL right now (and is hilarious and charming in anything she does, from her brilliant parody of “Carol,” which remains the funniest video of the year in my book, to her hysterical role in “Ghostbusters”). The more Kate McKinnon, the merrier.
Leslie Jones came onstage to painfully poke fun at her Twitter ordeal. We feel ya, Leslie. I wish a stronger anti-bullying statement could have been made there.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus has won way too many times, in my opinion (though I am sure they were all very well deserved wins because Julia can do no wrong, as far as I’m concerned, but I would like to give other actors a chance, too. Our choice was Lily Tomlin). But Julia never wastes her time on the Emmy stage, and she didn’t this year, either, taking the blame for encouraging the country to consider an entirely incompetent and unfit person for the presidency, saying that her show now feels more like a sobering documentary, rather than a comedy. She also brought me to tears talking about the recent loss of her father. We love you, Julia!
The people who work hard behind the scenes and are relegated to the creative Emmy Awards (which are largely ignored) were given an acknowledgement, which was quite nice.
Jeb Bush! You go, for having a sense of humor! Albeit a very sad joke.
Diversity! The film industry and the Oscars have a lot to learn from television. Not only was diversity apparent from the list of winners, but in order to nominate people of all walks of life, you have to also give them roles. The Emmys just highlighted the strides we have made in representation on the small screen.
From what we saw on the red carpet (and admittedly, we did not watch all the coverage), the #AskHerMore movement has had an impact. The questions were much improved, talking about the actresses’ work and its social impact and just briefly asking them to state who designed their dresses.
To which, Amy Schumer replied, (blah blah blah) “and an OB Tampon.” Mic drop.

NOT HAPPY:

My WTF moment of the night was when Keegan-Michael Key presented the award for best actress in a comedy, introducing the nominees as “they’re all sexy.” And what does that have to do with the reason they’re being honored here tonight, mate? What the hell? That was not only bewildering, but downright sexist.
Jimmy Kimmel, whom I quite like, by the way, did a pretty solid, harmless, relatively funny job hosting. But his low point was definitely giving out the PB & J sandwiches, which just seemed like a lame attempt at recreating Ellen’s magical pizza stint.
And then when you give out sandwiches, please don’t go out of your way to insult people with actual food allergies by calling them “annoying.” Sarcastically joking about the greedy bastards who hiked the EpiPen price? That’s excellent commentary. But it’s hard enough for people with special diets to get people to treat us seriously (and gluten seems to have become the butt of every joke these days), we don’t need your “help.” And by acknowledging that people with allergies need medicine to prevent them from dying when they come in contact with a certain food (or at the very least, they could get very ill), you are admitting that the gluten joke you’ve just made was not only lazy, but irresponsible. Apparently, this is not the first time Kimmel has made gluten his target. I would think he sould have gotten smarter by now.
The drawn-out rivalry between Kimmel and Matt Damon never quite ceases to entertain me. That being said, making a joke about Kimmel’s mother’s apples was maybe not the funniest choice (cringe!).
As much as I love Regina King in anything she ever does, her performances in “American Crime” were her least exciting. Olivia Colman, however, rocked my world as the extremely pregnant badass intelligence operative in “The Night Manager.” She should have won.
Maggie Smith, I worship you, but Jimmy was right, you should not have won. I was rooting for Maura Tierney, who had a brilliant year on “The Affair” and was the best thing about it (and you’ll notice hers was the only nomination the show received).
Yes, my wife has become a “Game of Thrones” follower and she gets it now. She gets why they win so many awards (and I trust her). But seriously, enough. It is time to let other shows, which are no less fantabulous, I promise you, win. “The Americans” is one of the best shows ever in the history of television and it has been so outrageously overlooked. This should have been its year.
As Kimmel pointed out, was there a shortage of actresses over 50 who could have played Louie Anderson‘s role?
Now, I had to dig up the meaning of the “hottest woman who rocks my chain” comment after it had been referenced four times last night, and I found out it was a line from a Jay Z song (“Public Service Announcement”) that actually goes “Got the hottest chick in the game wearin’ my chain.” Is he talking about bling? Or per chance, is it a metaphorical way to claim his wife as his possession? I don’t know. I can hardly imagine Beyonce letting him talk about her that way. But the lyrics do seem to follow the general hip hop formula, and we know that hip hop is known for its problem of sexism, misogyny and violence against women. So I was not keen on all the guys onstage competing on whose wife is the hottest rocking their chain. The exception was “Sherlock” writer, Steven Moffat, who actually thanked his wife for her real contribution to his life and career–she produces his show! That’s the way to thank your significant other!
Larry David, do we really believe you have so many hot babes falling at your feet that you need to feign interest in what they say so you can take them to bed? I predict you’ll get even less action now, after this offensive (and actually, quite bizarre) speech you gave.
Finally, several presenters and winners took the opportunity to talk about the political climate in this country at this very crucial time. And they have every right to do so, even more than usual, seeing that the lines between entertainment and politics are getting more blurred by the second. But I felt that Aziz Ansari‘s chosen “satire” was more off-putting than effective. Plus, at that point, producer Mark Burnett‘s primarily unnecessary comment about Hillary thanking Kimmel for the 5 minute free publicity for Drumpf became kinda relevant.

What did you think about the 68th Emmy Awards? Let us know!

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